Tuesday, March 28

We are screaming about Osinachi, she is gone and it hurts to see a victim like me not survive

By Precious Chikwendu 

I’ve been silently reading so much of the blames people are heaping on Osinachi for not speaking up. 

Sweethearts you can’t understand the weight on a victim of domestic violence or how we go through so much compactmentalizing how the world would look at us, close friends waiting to laugh at us, those who would say we warned you, how our family members would humiliate us of putting them to shame if we do leave, how we would be irrelevant in places where we were deemed relevant by status of marriage or maintaining a home.  

You all forget that a narcissistic partner is one who feels threatened by the abilities or potential of their partner and I’ve said this to so many women and men I’ve had a chance to speak with after eating enough of this breakfast, That if he or she is intimidated by your personality , achievements, charisma, Strength or God given talent, sweetheart run for your life.  

Envy mixed with a slice of hate is violence prone when it has to do with partners or lovers . If he or she can’t learn to talk over arguments without turning a red eye on you, screaming at you which gradually graduates to punches, the absolute need to intimidate or silence you on every unintended provocation,  adrenaline rush when they exert authority or control , RUN.

These behaviors are the first azonto steps of abuse . Dea judges you would have called her a prostitute or mad like i was called for choosing my sanity and peace.  Her husband would she have left would pick another supply, walked  free and even  contested to be president in the next election . Every abusive partner was exposed to violence at some point life and would pass this on.

We are screaming about Osinachi, she is gone and it hurts to see a victim like me not survive but i totally understand she got to the stage  where she resigned her fate to die in torture she felt there is no other way out . I got to that stage but snapped out of it after realizing that when I’m gone my boys would hate me for such a selfish decisions without considering them. 

So many people were aware of my situation but never spoke likewise Osinachi’s case because everyone would still blame her regardless. Blaming a victim in constant fear is why most would not speak up as so many are reading these negative contributions . 

Osinachi would have walked away if she had just a bit of her self esteem intact, she let go because she felt worthless”.

The writer was a partner to Femi Fani-Kayide, former Minister of Aviation. 

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